Janice Dickinson reveals anger at child abuse
It's been a rough ride for Janice Dickinson on Celebrity Rehab as she attempts to kick her addictions to alcohol and prescription drugs.
And there was more trauma for the former supermodel on the latest episode of the show as she broke down while recalling the abuse she suffered as a child.
In scenes shown on Wednesday night in the US, the 55-year-old sobbed as she revealed fears that she would never be able to 'get a grip' on the past after kicking the anti-anxiety drug Ativan.
Emotional: Janice Dickinson said on the show she was going 'mad' remembering the trauma of child abuse
'I'm writing in my journal and the memories keep coming back,' an emotional Janice told Dr Drew on the VH-1 show. 'I'm just really mad. I'm mad.
'And I'm afraid - afraid that I will never get a grip on child abuse.'
Earlier in the series Janice revealed that she had suffered at the hands of her father when she was a child.
Trouble coping: The supermodel broke down as she said she feared she would never 'get a grip' on the past
I was damaged beauty from the start,' she says. 'My dad had rage issues.'
'I don't feel good inside,' she added. 'I don't sleep. You have no idea about the abuse. You have no idea how bad I feel.'
'Physical abuse, emotion abuse and sexual abuse.'
Difficult moment: Janice described herself in a previous edition of the show as a 'damaged beauty' and said her father had 'rage issues'
Janice confessed in a magazine interview in 2006 that she may have accidentally killed her father by destroying his medication for a heart condition.
The mother of two - whose previous celebrity boyfriends have included Jack Nicholson and Sylvester Stallone - endured a traumatic childhood with her father, who died from heart failure at the age of 67.
'When he was on his way to the hospital I tossed his medication out of the car window and didn't tell the doctors,' she told Now magazine. 'Maybe I wanted to kill the abuser?'
Meltdown: Janice wept as she said that memories of her childhood kept coming back, making her 'mad'
She described her father as a 'rageaholic paedophile' and added, 'Because I wouldn't give in and let him have sex with me, I was verbally and physically abused on a daily basis. I was told that I looked like a boy and wouldn't amount to anything.
'I think that if you abuse a child your balls should be cut off. You should be castrated immediately.'
Earlier in the series she was shown having a panic attack and sobbing uncontrollably as she battled against her addictions.
Rough ride: Janice had a horrifying meltdown in an earlier edition of the show as she suffered a panic attack attempting to beat her addictions
Janice, who in an earlier episode came to blows with Rachel Uchitel, appeared on four cycles of America's Next Top Model.
She went on to opened her own modeling agency in 2005, which was documented on the reality TV show, The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.
Julia Roberts' actor brother Eric Roberts, The Hills' Jason Wahler, singer Keyshia Cole's mother Frankie Lons and oil heir Jason Davis are also taking part in the show during which they undergo detox and psychiatric therapy.